Becoming: A journey of self-discovery

Unfiltered with Peps - Part 1

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing more about my journey. This is a vulnerable invitation into the pages of my becoming, one that took me from insecurity and people pleasing to living purposefully with clarity and confidence. This series is for anyone who’s ever experienced similar struggles with low self-esteem or felt lost in the noise of life.

Today, we begin where all true transformation starts— with identity. Before you can truly become all that God has called you to be, you first need to know who you are and, more importantly, whose you are. I know we’ve all heard the word “identity” repeatedly. But do we really understand it? Or are we just echoing what we think sounds right?

My Story: The Mirror That Changed Everything

About five years ago, I found myself in a relationship that mirrored back to me all the things I didn’t know I needed to confront. At the time, I couldn’t explain it clearly, but every decision I made in that relationship revealed one painful truth: I didn’t know who I was. And because I didn’t know who I was, I didn’t value myself. I lacked boundaries, self-respect, and a sense of purpose.

At the time, I couldn’t see it. But God, in His mercy, began to open my eyes. Slowly and lovingly, He started mentoring me on the subject of identity. One of the first instructions I received was to study the book of Ephesians, and oh, what a transformation that began! That book revealed truths I never knew were available to me as a believer. I highly recommend it to anyone starting this journey of becoming. One of the many scriptures I still pray to date is Ephesians 1:17-18.

“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people.”

Ephesians 1:17-18

You might be wondering, “Perpetua, how did you come to this conclusion?”
The answer is simple: My actions gave me away. The choices I made, the things I tolerated, and the boundaries I allowed to be broken were clear signs of someone who had no rooted sense of self.

Now, I understand some people might argue, “But if you didn’t go through that experience, you wouldn’t have gained this wisdom to share with the world today.”
And to that, I say you’re right. But I also believe that some mistakes can be avoided, and God can still teach you the same lessons in a much lighter way.

However, the beauty of God’s sovereignty is that He factors in your mistakes and weaves them into the beautiful story He’s writing about your life.

But I digress, back to identity.

My life began to change the moment I started to understand my identity in Christ. I started genuinely loving myself. I began to enjoy my own company. I felt whole in ways I didn’t even know I was empty. And though I’m still on this journey of discovery, I can confidently say it only gets better.

Identity became more than a church word. It became the lens through which I saw everything.

What Is Identity?

Identity is not about your name, your job, your relationship status, or how others see you. It’s about who God says you are. It’s your spiritual DNA. Your God-given essence.

To put it simply, we find our identity in God. The more I learn about God, the more I learn about myself, because I am a reflection of my Father. The Bible says:

“So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them…”
— Genesis 1:27

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”
— Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

If I was created in His image, then my search for purpose must begin in Him.

Questions Your Identity Will Answer

When you discover your true identity, it answers the following questions:

• Who am I, really?

• Who is my Creator? Why was I created?

• What values and beliefs do I hold?

• What unique gifts have been bestowed upon me?

• What rights do I carry as a child of God?

• What authority has been given to me?

• What belongs to me by inheritance?

• How should I live my life on earth?

Signs of Identity Distortion

Maybe you’re unsure whether you’ve been walking in your true identity. Here are a few signs that you may have drifted:

• You constantly seek validation from others.

• You stay in toxic environments just to feel loved or accepted.

• You don’t feel safe being alone with your own thoughts.

• You struggle to set boundaries because you fear rejection.

If any of these resonate with you, it may be time to pause and ask:
“Who does God say I am?”

“But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A CONSECRATED NATION, A [special] PEOPLE FOR God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies [the wonderful deeds and virtues and perfections] of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”
1 Peter 2:9 AMP

My Turning Point

The moment I began to discover my identity, everything in my life started to shift. Although it wasn't automatic, the Holy Spirit was gradually working in me. The way I dressed changed. The people I surrounded myself with changed. I stopped obsessively trying to please others and began to show up authentically in every room I entered. Something in me shifted, and it was so real that others could see it too.

"Genuine transformation always ushers in a new way of living."

Here’s something many Christians don’t talk about:
It’s possible to be born again and still not know who you are.

You may be saved but not yet free. Called but still unsure. Gifted but misaligned.

The truth is: you can’t truly become unless you first know who you are.

If you’re reading this and feeling the nudge in your heart, I want to invite you to start over. Identity isn’t found in ambition, people, or performance; it’s found in the quiet moments when you allow God to remind you who you are.

Here’s a simple step to take this week:

Find a quiet space and have an honest conversation with the lord and yourself.

• Ask God, “Who do You say I am?”

• Ask Yourself, “Who are you becoming? Are your actions reflecting the identity God gave you or the labels life threw at you?

• Start reading the book of Ephesians with an open heart.

• Journal every truth you discover about yourself.

Becoming is not about achieving more; it’s about aligning with who you already are in Christ. And once you know that, you’ll never settle for less again.

Till next time,

With Love,

Perpetua